all that is not given is lost.

so there was this woman who called me at work to inquire about our homebound service...and it became apparent as she wandered through her questions [she was hoping to get a particular book before school began for her students to use in her classroom]...that she had recently found herself in the predicament of being [as she said]...handicapped [and then, she said...i don't like that word]...and i sensed her challenges to mobility were a new thing...and here she was on the phone with me...trying to find a way...still focused on something she obviously cared very much about [teaching]...because she only has transport, apparently, to the doctor and to work...and yet, she was trying, desperately, to find a way...to prepare for the coming school year...to do...what in the past, may have been so much easier...without thought or planning or consequence of being confined to [as she called it] this chair. and the minutes ticked on as she plied me with questions about everything...about our service...about the possibility of getting this book sent to her...about the possibility of having it sent to her local library if her son could pick it up...about how that process works...about our courier system...about how she would be notified...about how she could know what other items,titles,books could be available to her...and it was abundantly clear that for every question i answered, the possibilities were igniting a hundred other inquiries in her mind. and i realized i was glad, i could take the time...even though my head feels as though it is splitting open...and my blood sugar at 540 is forcibly closing my eyes and weighing on my chest making it hard to breathe...and i'm overwhelmed about not having a car, and all of the people i'm supposed to follow up with...but right now...in this moment...i'm in conversation with her...and i'm getting a sense of all the people she's talked to just to get to me...and how much time it's taken to get a simple question answered...and i feel that all of the ways i'm running up against a brick wall...is just a momentary experience of all of the challenges this woman has newly found herself in...and i'm humbled at the thought of this...at all i have...and, in this moment, though i've never met her, i can sense her pain...and i find myself leaning into all of her questions, and when i have negotiated all of the best ways i can be of service to her...she exclaims, "you know, i've talked to a lot of people today...and most people have been really mean...i mean, i know people are busy, but they have not been helpful...and i want to thank you, because you've been helpful...and you've taken your time...NO...MORE!! than helpful...and i'm really amazed at how much, how willingly you've helped me...i mean, it really makes a difference! you should know this."...and i don't tell her...and i hope she cannot hear it in my voice, that i'm about to cry...but i tell her with a hushed voice, "that. really means so...very much to me". and "you know, ms....[.......]....isn't it what this is all about? i mean, if you called, and i was rude to you, wouldn't i just really be having a more miserable day? and when we can stop and realize this is all we have...and it's infinitely more beautiful and rich because of the connections we can make with one another, than i have to tell you, honestly, that i am honoured because the pleasure is all mine." and it caused me to consider how often we live in our own heads...i honestly felt very weary picking up the phone...and being bombarded with questions was at this point...a physical and emotional challenge...but even as i am experiencing my own pain...in the moment i could make straight the path for this woman for whom so much has been pain of late...i also felt such a sweet joy. and it doesn't matter all of the ways i feel i lack right now...physically...financially...even emotionally [after so much unexpected transition, of late], i feel as though i am a wealthy, wealthy woman, indeed. rich in love. rich in spirit. [and isn't this all we really need?].