la quatrième semaine - 9e chose. real simple syndication.

here we are in week 4 of our exploration into new technologies, and i've been asked to comment on my experience with RSS feeds. in theory, i immediately liked the concept: a sort of one-stop corkboard of messages from my favorite sites, but i immediately saw how it could be overwhelming. at first, i was a little challenged at considering which sites i'd wish to add. i mean, there are the obvious...clips from NPR were a must. but besides my daily update on world events - [the internet's my lifeline, i have no TV] - just what could be so pressing that i'd need a regular bite-sized overview ? other than the news, i regularly visit poet seers; poetry daily; and poetry chaikhana. so far, so good...2 of the 3 had rss feeds. i miss getting the NY Times. was a little befuddled on how to elect which rss feeds from there i couldn't live without. seems that they have oodles for each different section. stumbled across a few pages of xml code and was totally lost. couldn't figure out how to apply them to my bloglines account until i discovered i could add a subbloglines button to my favorites on internet explorer [thanks cindy lou!] and everything got a whole bunch easier. also...i noticed, once i stumbled across a few blogs i liked: 101 cookbooks; bike commute daily...that i could look at the public subscribers to each of those sites and peruse their favorite blogs...now the possibilities are endless [even if it makes me feel like a creepy voyeur]. i previously hadn't considered myself in the know enough to subscribe to what i'd be interested in, and now i don't have enough hours in the day to browse.

good news is, i'm currently transitioning from vegetarian to vegan/raw vegan...and the research for recipes, etc. has been greatly simplified by rss. [i even found a local chapter of the slow food movement] also, am making the shift from dependency on the ab$$$urd price of gasoline to self-propelled transport: ie, pedalpower...a feat made easier with several blogs i've stumbled across and now can keep abreast of, thanks to rss.

oh yeah, and one last thing: how come our library system doesn't have any rss feeds??

a personal [2 wheeled] revolution.

so.
in that quirky way the universe smiles upon you when you are simply pursuing your passions. it made me smile to recently discover that the week starting may 12 was National Bike Month.

it intrigued me, because that monday, may 12 which was the kick-off of a national event to promote the reduction of pollution and solidarity and resistance to the culture of consumption and gas prices which are currently drowning every jane Q public, was the day i brought my recent Craigslist find of a roadbike to the local bike shop to be renovated.

24 hours later [for le$$ money than i had feared] my bike was roadworthy...and i received kudos from the shop owner Stan for my find of a yokota merced hybrid for a mere $49.

my intention this year was to begin commuting by bike to work. it's approximately 10 miles one way...which isn't much of a distance, truly...i've walked that sometimes in my latenight-past-all-streetlights rambling walkabouts sometimes. but it's an altogether different scenario by light of day in this area of Great Suburbia where everyone jumps in their cars to drive to the local market for their daily bread.

i've driven the distance - my regular route - now, for the last few months planning where i would cross the major thoroughfares and avoid the worst morning rush hour. it's no small feat. i work on one of the most major intersections in my area. and the drivers in this town are NOT conditioned to be cogniscent of cyclists...or pedestrians.

i've made a few trial runs the half distance, and am somewhat surprised at how quickly it takes to make a distance of 5 or so miles. there are times now when i am driving and stuck behind some dangerously distracted slow driver that i wish i was on two wheels [even though my MINI cooper is an absolute joy].

so.
tomorrow is the first trial run that i make the distance. i figure a sunday run will give me a good idea of the path that is best. it's remarkably more visceral to pedal your way to a destination. what is a yawn of a drive by car is incredibly bumpy by bike. i am building callouses on my rump even while learning which intersections to stand and lean into.

so why commute by bike when it's virtually unheard of here in traffic-ville? and when i already drive one of the greenest cars that isn't a hybrid?

as i stated to a group of my coworkers this week:

1] it's good for the environment, and i figure since i know my co-workers love me, my inevitable stanky-ness once i get to work won't be a problem.
[they assured me i was DEAD wrong]

2] it's a practical way to get in a daily workout...calorie burning=more grilled cheese each week...until i go raw, that is. oh yeah, did i mention it was good for the environment??

and,
3] it's in keeping with my list of aspirations for the year...toward which i am well on my way.
[my plan for the year. you can see here]. many of which were in keeping with living mindful of my ecological footprint...so embracing the counterculture of cycling revolution is just one more step.

[if all goes well....monday starts my new morning routine...i figure it'll take me an hour longer to get to work, but it'll give me plenty of time to appreciate the scenery of my hometown and think about the bigger lunches i'll enjoy when i get there]

1:02 am

the sky looks
so strange tonight like
the clouds are a blanket ceiling
on this tiny little
smothered town the
citylights sepia tone down
the darkness and
make me
wonder if
morning is
coming for me
or not?

in your hand. the birth of a new day...or a childhood myth revisited.

sometimes we happen upon the fortune
of waking from
the deadened sleep of adulthood
and
tripping through some portal,we stumble without veiled vision
into the realm of childhood,able once again to
see things with the same magick
that came so easily before
we became numb from hungering only for
the songs of experience
[tempered without innocence - all they can do is leave us jaded]

But again,
now/here
we are
and given respite for awhile
[perhaps after having been driven there by some dark and tremulous storm]
we cast our eyes
into that silvery liquid pool
of memory
chancing to reflect upon our journey
and drawing strength from our own myths.

and so…here it was I recently found myself
considering the tomes of my youth
and offer up to you
like Lewis’ soundless wardrobe
a wondering path home




I considered Bastian’s journey.
Remember that quiet, bright boy?whose childhood crime was one of
wishing for wisdom:
he preferred to spend his days whiling his way
through ancient novels
rather than pursue the rowdy, barbaric bruises of youth
and suffered for it, by bearing the endless torment of bullies.



and then he fell into the Neverending Story…

whose leaves of pages called him to
the mountains and trees
of Fantasia
Causing him, in desperate act, to steal away
and read with shallow breaths the
Hero’s Journey of Atreyu

and with that boy warrior of the Plains people we
confronted
[perhaps for the first time, many of us]
the despondency of despair

oh shed even now a tear, for Artax,
whose spirit gave up
in that dark and murky swamp
only then, remember, was it
that he sunk
[all his hope was lost]
and he died

and still, the Hero journeyed on
though weary
he bore the mark of the Auryn
[it’s labyrinthine significant of the quest]
and understood the sacred call of duty
[he knew any personal sacrifice he must bear was for the good of us all]

again, Great Wisdom
for it is true
we know for certain now:
- we are all interconnected -
and whatever breaks my heart
like ripples

affect

and breaks the heart of Hope and Love



and this is why we journey on
[it is our sacred duty]
Toward wholeness in ourselves,
We heal the Heart of the world.



But still, Fantasia, was doomed
And being consumed by The Nothing,
Atreyu must journey on…

through many hardships and much suffering
unwittingly, he was pursued
all the way by the Servant of Darkness
that would snatch the life breath from him should he stop



he traveled all the way to face his fears
[and through the riddle of the Sphinx]
On his way to the Oracle
he made his way past the questions
we don’t even know need asked

and then, having reached the end
of whatever path he knew he must take,
he reached also
the end of himself
and the Nothing raged on
[vapid dark star of apathy and despair]
devouring Fantasia
[the dream world of all human beings]
eating away at all the goals
and hope for progress of humanity

and it is there at the edge of the precipice
that Atreyu faces the ultimate test:
even after slaying – with warrior skill— the Gmork that sought to destroy him
[overcoming all that would stop him]
he reaches the point where all that is left for him to do is
-to give up-

Surrender

-let go-
Again, the ultimate test



There is nothing more he can do
But acknowledge
His fate resides within the strength of Another



And Dear Reader,
do know
it’s not a place of weakness to admit:
to discover this selfsame truth in the realm of your own journey -
- it is always what seems contrary to rational thought
that reaps real wisdom
and
All Spiritual Truth

Enter Bastian:
the small boy who
has made a lifetime at his young age of
thinking he, insignificant,
reveling in the bold, brave acts of others.

[so too we/here can seem at times so incapable of any good
we could ever hope to achieve]

and the revelation dawns
even as he is reading…
…that he cannot separate himself from the story
even as the life of Atreyu [the warrior]
And the Princess [lifeblood of Fantasia]
Hang in the balance, so too
Does Bastian’s World
[because Fantasia is the dream world of humans, and because thoughts and dreams by their very nature have no boundaries]
so too,
and it is true,
neither does Fantasia,

but the reality is
– and soon we each learn in our own ways –
that the Nothing is real
and exists to snuff out the boundless worlds within us
should we, either for disbelief
or lack of desire for trying any longer
give up and give in to the darkness that would consume us

and in his awareness, so too
Bastian is pushed to the edge
beyond the limitations of skepticism
he is called to leave the rational boundaries of thought behind
to enter the Dream World
[that is indeed, undone]
and in that that moment, the supreme irony resounds
trading innocence for experience
yet wanting Goodness and Light to reign
the child confronts his own dark self
and learns to move toward maturity
in a world shaped by the power of his dreams and wishes
[which as we know is the ever unmarred, unfailing strength of childhood]

only he can give the Princess her new name all it requires is that he
- believe -
regardless of how it seems that
all is lost
[Fantasia was reduced after all to a single seed, that golden grain of sand]





[and please, Brave Heart, take note:]
It is never too late
to begin the world over again.




Again, all we have is now/here

Selah.
Or in other words:
Let it be.

- zenjen -

the alchemy of love - or reflections of the brokenhearted warrior

A relationship that has any depth and power at all will inevitably penetrate our usual shield of defenses, exposing our most tender and sensitive spots, and leaving us feeling vulnerable—literally, “able to be wounded”. To love, in this sense, is to open ourselves to being hurt. The dream of love would have us believe that something is wrong if a relationship causes us pain. Yet trying to avoid the wound of love only creates a more permanent kind of damage. It prevents us from opening ourselves fully, and this keeps us from ever forming a deeply satisfying intimate connection.

Even in the best relationships, two individuals will never fit together perfectly. There will always be rough edges and problems that cannot be entirely resolved. Because we are creatures of this earth, with all the limitations and imperfections that entails, human relationships cannot always manifest the perfect, unconditional love we know and feel in our heart.

When we feel the pain of this contradiction between the perfect love in our heart and the obstacles to its complete realization in earthly form, it breaks the heart—wide open. But this is not so bad. Not so bad at all.

When the heart breaks open, we hurt. Yet in this pain is our basic openness to life.
When we feel raw and tender, we are in touch with the very core of who we are.





Thus the rawness of the broken-open heart, which begins in moments of disillusion, is the transmuting force in the alchemy of love. When we let our heart break open, a certain sweetness starts to flow from us like nectar.

As the Sufi teacher Hazrat Inayat Khan put it,

“The warmth of the lover’s atmosphere, the piercing effect of his voice, the appeal of his words, all come from the pain of his heart.”

This is one of the great secrets of love.

Instead of trying to ward off this pain, which is futile anyway, the lover can use it

to transform himself,

to develop invincible tenderness and compassion…and [to become] a heroic warrior in the service of love.

Letting the heart break open awakens us to the mystery of love—that we can’t help loving others, in spite of the pain they cause us, for no other reason than that they move and touch us, in ways that we can never fully comprehend.

Indeed, if those we love perfectly matched our ideal dreams, they would not touch us so deeply. What we love is not just their pure being, but also their heart’s struggle with all the obstacles in the way of its full, radiant expression. Although their imperfections cause us pain, they also give our love a greater purchase, a foothold, something to work with.

It is as though our heart wants to ally itself with the heart in those we love and lend them strength in their struggle to realize the magnificence of their being, beyond all their perceived shortcomings.

So, just as rocks in a stream accentuate the force of the water rushing against them, the obstacles to perfect romance can help us realize the power of our capacity to love.

They force the heart to stretch so that it can embrace all of what we are.

This, more than finding the perfect relationship or having someone give us everything we want, is what can heal us.


from “Journey of the Heart -
Intimate Relationship and the Path of Love” by John Welwood